Milord and Milady
by GreendaleSeven
Summary: Dean Pelton announces a Medieval feast at Greendale. It's all fun and games until things get more serious. A medieval style paintball assassin begins on campus! The study group fights side by side until they get separated. Shirley and Britta fight to save Pierce from Starburns, as Annie tries to mend Jeff's wound from Leonard, and Troy and Abed go after Excalibur to defeat Chang.
1. Chapter 1

Jeff Winger walked into the empty study room. Empty? Since when was Jeff the first in the study room. He furrowed his eyes, confused as ever. He walked over to the sanded wooden table that had so many memories, including him and Britta doing it. That was a crazy night. Jeff let his books fall from his arms and drop on the table top. He pulled his chair out, letting it slide a few inches back on the carpet. Looking around, no one was coming into the room. However, Leonard peeked his head in. He was wearing a light blue polo with thin white stripes.

"Looks like you forgot about daylight savings," he laughed and waddled away.

"Shut up, Leonard!" Jeff told him as he took his seat, slouching back and pulling out his phone. "Daylight savings?" he asked himself. He would have face palmed if he didn't have both hands on his phone. Jeff remembered that he had switched his phone off of _auto clock_. He figured he would remember to change the hour on his own. So much for that. His phone's clock read, 9:16 AM, but it must have really been 8:16 AM. Jeff sighed and opened his messages. There were no new texts to him - same as always. Full of boredom, Jeff closed his message application, and then opened it again. He closed it once more, and opened it again. He did this a lot. Sometimes he did it when he was ignoring someone, while other times, he did it to keep his popular persona going. Half the time, - more than half the time - Jeff wasn't even in conversation with anyone.

For the next thirty minutes, Jeff tossed a purple pen up in the air. There wasn't much else to do to waste time. There wasn't anyone roaming the halls that he wanted to talk to, and he was too awake already to take a nap.

Once 8:45 struck, a giddy girl in a tight navy blue sweater and white skirt just above her knees walked in. "Jeff," she held out with a growing smile. "You're actually early. You didn't forget about the extra hour, did you?"

"Annie," he cocked his head and smiled. He caught the purple pen in his hand and pointed it at her. "Yes, in fact, I did forget about it. You know, schedules would go a lot smoother if we didn't have to take an hour in one part of the year and give an hour the next. Just keep it the same. It would save a lot of rushing around and lateness to meetings. To add to that, people with better things to do wouldn't show up at a community college forty-five minutes early."

"Better things as in sleep?" Annie assumed. "Sometimes change is good every once in a while." She looked harder at the pen that was being pointed at her. "_Jeff_," she scorned. "Is that . . . my _pen_? I knew it was you. You had us tear up the entire study room for the whole night! Troy made up a story about a ghost. Do you realize how insane you drove us?"

"Annie -" he tried.

She held up a finger. "No, 'Annie,'" she mimicked him. "I am telling you something, mister. We got behind tables and _undressed_! I had to be indecent in public," she whispered the last sentence.

"It was in front of other girls. You have the same parts. Besides, it's not like anyone got naked."

"It's the principle of it."

"Like the pen was a principle?" Jeff didn't try to stop and explain this time. He just folded his arms, smiled, and let himself enjoy this.

"We cut Pierce's cast off! You gave a speech about how terrible it was to steal my pen! We even had to find out that Abed tracks our . . . you know . . . _girl time_. I can't believe you, Jeff. You disgust me." Annie's eyes widened, realizing something. "Where are my other pens? Are you holding them hostage? You sick, sick man. Release my pens. You can start by freeing that one."

"Geez, Annie. If I didn't know better, I would think you were talking about your kids."

"This is no time for joking around, Jeff. This is a serious matter."

"Sure, just as serious as Abed's mental condition."

Annie raised an eyebrow.

"That's actually kind of serious. Guess I screwed myself there." Jeff tossed the purple pen to Annie. She caught it as if it had fallen to the ground, it would have broke into a thousand pieces. "Point is," Jeff began, "I didn't steal your pen. I didn't even know that was your pen."

"It's a _purple_ pen," she told him, clutching it for safe keeping in her hand.

"I'm sure a bunch of people here have purple pens, including the Dean." Jeff sat up in his chair. "I'm not the culprit here. Troy's escapee monkey had that pen. I didn't have a writing utensil, so I took it from the monkey. What's its name again?" Jeff caught a glimpse of Annie's cleavage. He chuckled to himself. "Oh, yeah. Annie's Boobs gave me the pen."

Annie pulled her sweater closed up to the neck with her free hand. "Oh. So you had nothing to do with the felony?"

Jeff shook his head. "I had nothing to do with the _felony_."

"Well," Annie smiled. "That's good." She made her way to her seat.

"Don't you remember when we settled all this right before we got caught in never ending memories?" Jeff recalled. "Why are you here so early? Besides being an overachiever, what makes you get to Study Room F in such a hurry?"

"I wouldn't consider fifteen minutes before nine early." Annie pulled her backpack in front of her. She put her purple pen into a compartment, and then took out a binder and book. After setting them on the table top, she set the bag down beside her seat. "But if you must know, I was getting here before someone were to steal my seat." She mumbled, "People like to steal my things around here."

"_Save_ your _seat_?" Jeff allowed some silent moments go by, while he tried to process Annie's reasoning. "You do realize that we sit in the same seats as we always do, right?"

"Abed's had his eyes on this seat this week. He's been staring at it every class."

"Sure he's not just staring at you?"

Annie blushed. She led a strand of brunette hair behind her ear as she looked away to keep from getting flustered. "Of course not." Once she composed herself, she went on, "Just watch. For some reason, he wants to steal my seat."

At that moment, Pierce walked in. He pulled his bag's strap over his seat and sat down at his chair. "What's this about A-bed?" he asked, folding his hands on the table, looking back and forth at Jeff and Annie. He frowned when he didn't get an answer. "I'm sure I'll find out. A-bed and I happen to be very close friends." Pierce raised a hand before anyone could speak. "Not like you're friends with other men, Jeff," he laughed.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "You don't even say his name right!"

"Who? A-bed?"

"Yes, _Abed_!"

"Somebody call me?" Abed asked, walking into the room and taking a seat in a smooth manner.

"No, it's A-bed. I remember because it's 'a bed.' You don't know what you're talking about, Jeff."

"Don't you mean J-eff?" the ex-lawyer joked.

"Good one," Annie giggled, looking dreamy eyed at Jeff.

Jeff looked over at her with a smile, but when he saw her big eyes staring into his soul, he turned away. He liked the attention, but sometimes, it felt weird.

Shirley walked into the study room and sat between Annie and Pierce like always. "Good morning," she greeted, song-like.

"I found my pen, Shirley!" Annie exclaimed. "Well, one of them."

"Aw good," she smiled. Her voice turned almost dark, "Bet you feel pretty bad for accusing me now, huh?"

Annie leaned back in her chair, hearing Shirley's deep voice come out. "I'm sorry, Shirley."

"Mhm. So who was it?"

"Annie's Boobs. Jeff rescued it for me."

"That's taken out of context," Jeff mumbled.

"Annie, don't tell me you're talking about yourself in third person," Shirley hoped. "Abed didn't convince you to do one of his weird projects, did he?"

"No," she replied.

"Oh, that's good stuff." Abed grabbed a pen and seemingly wrote down the idea in a notebook.

"So you're just doing that on your own then?" Shirley asked Annie, a little worried.

"I'm not talking about myself in third person. _My_ Boobs must have taken my pen."

"Ohhh. I understand. Happens to me with popcorn all the time," Shirley laughed. The her expression changed as the laughter stopped. "What do you mean 'Jeff rescued it?'"

"The monkey, Shirley!" Jeff cleared up.

"Oh." Shirley held to her purse and leaned her back all the way against her chair.

"Sorry. I've just been here for an hour already."

"Ha. Daylight savings time got you." Britta walked in laughing from Jeff's pain. She pulled her chair out and plopped in it. "Good start to my day."

"Why?" Abed asked.

"Vicki asked you out?" Pieced laughed at his joke.

"Why Vicki?" Annie wondered.

"She's the only girl in this school I know the name of except for you three," he replied.

"Feminist group rioting for animal rights?" Abed guessed.

"No, but that would be amazing." Britta looked around the table in delight. "Anyone want to help me start that? It could make news and -"

"I'm going to stop you there," Jeff said. "But I'm glad you find joy in my sorrow."

"It livens my world," she teased.

"It's Troy, your boy. Now your time can be enjoyed, and it isn't a ploy." Troy made an entrance rhyming. He took his seat next to Abed, and the did their hand shake.

"Lords and Ladies!" Dean Pelton said, making an entrance of his own. He was dressed in a medieval queen costume. He worn a plastic crown on his head that looked like gold, a red cape outlined with white and black fur was tied around his neck, he had white face paint on with red blush marks, and he held a toy staff. All these items were no doubt hidden in his closet for months.

"Is that Dalmatian fur?" Pierce asked, noticing the cape.

"Dalmatian?" Dean Pelton was surely blushing under his makeup. "They're the worst dog."

"Is that why you have a poster of them in your office?" Abed asked, curious.

"We all know your fetish." Pierce twiddled his thumbs.

"I think you mean phobia."

"You liar!" Pierce screamed. "Let me tighten that cape for you!"

Dean Pelton picked up a leg defensively and hid his face with his queen cape.

Troy put a hand on Pierce's shoulder. "It's all right," he calmed.

Dean Pelton stood fearless as if his cowardly stance had never happened. "Thank you, Troy."

"We all know you're right," Troy whispered to Pierce.

"Dean," Annie asked, gently. "Why are you dressed in that?"

"Really, Annie?" Jeff asked. "Because he's insane."

"Not Chang insane," Pierce added.

"Right," Jeff agreed. "Not that level of craziness . . . not quite."

Dean Pelton held to his heart and let his jaw drop at Jeff's comment.

"Jeffrey," Shirley said. "That wasn't very nice."

"Everything has to be nice for you, doesn't it, Shirley?" Jeff retorted.

"I'll apologize on his behalf to everyone," Britta spoke up. "Being here early apparently gets to him."

"You forgot about daylight savings?" Dean Pelton asked. "Poor Jeffrey." He rested a hand on Jeff's chest. "You should have hung out with me."

"Yes, that would have helped the situation," he replied, sarcastically.

"Exactly."

"Now could you please take your hand off me? It's uncomfortable with a male dressed as a _queen_ touching me."

"Not coming out of the closet, huh, Jeff?" Pierce asked.

Dean Pelton took his hand away. "I wanted to let you all know about our medieval feast today. A lot of fun things in the mix. It'll be dean-eriffic. See you all on the quad." He looked down at Jeff. "And for your information, Jeffery, I'm wearing this because I couldn't think of any other costume ideas."

"You of all people? And don't you mean outfit?" Jeff mumbled. "What about a knight? Or a _king_? A peasant? A priest? Come on, even a horse would work."

The dean played a smile. "Okay, then, I'll see you all on the quad in a few hours." With that, he left.

"You didn't have to be so mean," Annie told him.

"That's right, Jeffery. You were rude." Shirley pouted.

Jeff took in a deep breath."I am sorry. This school brings it out of me sometimes."

"Like the hulk?" Abed asked.

"Not like the hulk, Abed," Jeff disagreed calmly.

"I'm sticking with the hulk," Abed said.

"This medieval thing sounds like a blast!" Troy enthused. "We get to dress up too?"

"At this school, anything is possible," Jeff replied.

"Awesome," Troy smiled wide. "I can't wait to figure out what I want to be."

"I'm going to be a princess!" Annie announced.

"Of course you are," Britta said.

"What's wrong with being a princess?"

"Oh, nothing, just the fact that you're only doing it because it's mainstream," Britta explained. "Princesses didn't really have much power. They just got to sit on a throne, do what they're told, and look pretty. Oh, kind of like you do now."

"Uh!" Annie pouted.

"Annie, I didn't mean that," Britta apologized.

"Geez, this daylight savings thing is cursed," Jeff said.

"No, your mood is contagious," Britta corrected.

"You're right," Jeff breathed.

"I am?" she asked. "I mean, I know I am. My major _is_ physicology. I should be able to figure things out like that. But I'm just surprised you backed down that easily."

"I-" Jeff's eyes caught something strange. He saw Abed staring in Annie's direction. He looked as though he was studying her as intently as he probably studied movies. Then Jeff noticed it. Abed was not looking at Annie. Just as she had told him, Abed was staring at her chair. "Abed, what are you doing?"

Abed bolted to attention. "I've had my eyes on Annie's chair since the beginning of the week."

"Ha! Told you," Annie shouted to Jeff.

"Good job, Annie. You can notice Abed's strange behavior," Jeff said, not realizing how harsh it was toward both Annie and Abed. "Why have you been eying her chair, Abed?"

"I've been wondering . . . All of our conversations must have some connection with our seating arrangement. If we were to switch seats, would we talk about different things? But then that leaves the door open for the question of 'if we stayed in our original seats, would we have the same conversations as we would if we switched?' It's been on my mind for a few days. Aside from my seat, I like Annie's second best. It's not at the head of the table, so people won't be staring at me so much like they do with you, Jeff. But it also has the wall behind the seat, so no one can sneak up on me - I worry about that. Thirdly, it's not next to Pierce. Pierce sometimes gazes at Shirley, and I'd rather not have him doing that to me. If he doesn't change seats, as I calculate he probably won't, I don't have to worry about him eying me."

"It's not the seat," she mumbled, feeling the elderly man's eyes on her.

"You don't like my seat second best?" Troy asked, hurt.

"How about we save that experiment for a different day, okay, Abed?" Jeff suggested.

"We will do it though?" Abed asked.

"Someday, yes."

"I'm good with that. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool."

"There's your answer," Jeff whispered to Annie, so no one else could hear. "Because he's crazy." Before Annie thought Jeff was being rude again, he added, "But he's our kind of crazy."

Annie smiled at Jeff's ending comment.

Jeff spread his arms. "Is the census that we're going to this medieval thing?"

"The Dean did say it's in a few hours," Abed pointed out. "That's during our classes. And with how this school runs, I would assume that we can skip our classes to go to the feast."

"Or . . . we could skip our classes and go home, and then say that we went tomorrow. Eh?" Jeff proposed, proud of himself.

"The dean is going to notice that you aren't at the feast," Britta reminded.

Jeff cringed. "You're right. And I'd rather spend the day at some medieval feast, than in class." Jeff stood up. "Okay, guys. I'm going to go cool off while you all spend hours on your costumes."

"You're not wearing one?" Annie asked.

"I'm sure I'll put something together in the five minutes before I leave my house to come back to this place."

"And you'll still look awesome," Troy exclaimed.

Jeff smiled at him. "You know it!"

"Should I go with a barbarian style like in Dragonhart or or should I go as a jouster like in A Knight's Tale?" Abed asked.

"I'm sure whatever you choose, you'll match your boyfriend," Pierce said, although it wasn't clear if he knew Troy and Abed were just friends.

Troy's expression glowed as he turned to Abed.

"Idea?" Abed asked. He sat at the edge of his seat.

"We could be dragons!"

"Troy and Abed breathing fire," they sang in unison.

"Gay," Pierce stated.

Troy turned to face Pierce. "Well, what are you going to be?"

"I'm going to be a noble jester," Pierce replied, looking up to the ceiling and holding his hand over his chest. "That way I can be rich and funny. Like I already am."

"What are you looking at?" Abed asked, following Pierce's gaze.

"Not sure jesters work that way, Pierce," Britta said.

"Or you can all discuss it here," Jeff said. "As for me, I'll be back in a few hours."

"You promise?" Annie asked.

"If you don't show up, we're turning you in," Britta warned.

"Would I lie to you?" Jeff asked, innocently.

"Oh! I know this one!" Abed raised his hand, waiting to be called on.

Jeff just looked at him. "He's not going to put his hand down until we ask him, is he?"

Abed gave a slight smile and shook his head.

"Abed," Jeff said.

Abed let his hand down. "The answer is 'yes.'"

"What was the question again?" Pierce asked. "It's not that I forgot, I just wasn't paying attention."

"The question was 'is Pierce's _noble jester_ idea stupid,'" Jeff responded.

"You're just jealous that you didn't think of it first," Pierce said.

"Take a chill pill, Jeffery," Shirley said. "I think that's what the kids say now when they want you to calm down." She turned to the three youngest study group members. "Annie, Troy, Abed, am I right?"

They all nodded.

"Hey! I would like to know why I'm not involved in this poll. I'm young," Britta jumped in.

"Young like the day I was born," Pierce laughed, and then everyone except Britta joined in. "I've still got it," he whispered to himself.

"You just burned yourself," Troy said, still laughing.

"Need some ice for that burn?" Shirley added. "That's something else they say."

"Yeah, Shirley, I know. I know because I'm young." Britta gave a few hesitant laughs.

"Okay, bye-bye now," Jeff said, walking backward. The group barely noticed him leaving since they were all still laughing here and there. On his way backing out, he bumped into someone. Turning around, he saw Fat Neil.

"It's easier looking where you're going," Fat Neil told him.

Jeff had managed to hold onto his books during the collision. "Sorry, Fa-aaaaaa_aaarmer _Neil."

Fat Neil gave Jeff an unbelieving look.

"It's your new nickname," Jeff told him.

"Oppose to 'Fat Neil?'"

"Yeah, now it's Farmer Neil."

"I don't farm."

"It's just fun," Jeff tried. "Farming doesn't have to be literal. You can farm your life by tending it. You can -"

"Save your speech, Jeff."

"You're sure? I had a pretty good idea about the direction I was going with it."

"Thanks for trying not to say Fat Neil, I guess." Fat Neil turned and went on his way down the hallway.

"I've got to work on switching words halfway through," Jeff told himself.


	2. Chapter 2

It was just about time for the medieval feast to begin when Jeff rode up in his Lexus. It hadn't taken him long to find the perfect costume - one that took only a few minutes to come up with and showed off his attractiveness. Down the hall from his apartment, there was a guy that did Renaissance reenactments. Jeff used his wits to get the guy to agree to let him borrow a "Knight in Shining Armor" costume. It almost looked real, but thankfully wasn't. Even though Jeff could handle it, carrying around armor that weighed so much would put a damper on things.

He stepped out of his luxury car and made his way to the quad. Once again, Greendale went all out for something that had nothing to do with learning. There was a makeshift cardboard castle cutout that stood about two stories tall and was as wide as ten people lying down. Surprisingly, there were actual horses, and people were riding them. To one side, there were a bunch of games, while to another, there were all kinds of foods lined up and down a table. Jeff wondered how good the food was. If it matched the food they usually had in the cafeteria, it wasn't anything to be proud of, or anything you'd want to eat. But he was sure he'd eat it, just like he did with the cafeteria food.

Standing near a castle themed moon bounce, was the rest of the study group. He had told the guy living down the hall to keep the helmet that went with the costume. There was no need to hide his model-like face. This made it easy for his friends to spot him through the crowd of other dressed up students and staff. They waved Jeff over, and he walked toward them.

"Looks like you actually put some thought into your costume," Britta noticed.

"I borrowed it from someone in my apartment," Jeff confessed. He rested a hand on the hilt of his toy sword that was sheathed on his belt.

"Boo!" Britta gave a thumbs down.

"I like the costume, Jeff," Annie said, admiring how good Jeff looked as a knight.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Milady." Jeff took Annie's hand and bowed as he kissed the top of her soft hand. He took a gander at her white and purple dress and the not-to-showy silver crown on top of her head. Chocolate curls fell from her head and brushed back and forth on her shoulders.

"Milord," Annie replied, giving a curtsy, trying her hardest not to blush.

"Jeffery!" Dean Pelton called. "My turn." He came running over, still in his queen's outfit and offered his hand, looking shyly away.

"Not going to happen," Jeff said, standing up straight with his hands at his side.

"Hmm." Dean Pelton dropped his hand. "Hope you seven enjoy yourselves. Look for the mini play. It'll be announced. Get ready for a special star and a surprise guest." The dean briskly walked away, going toward the horses.

"$20 bucks that he's the special star," Abed assumed.

"And let me guess . . . I'll be the surprise guest," Jeff said annoyed. He looked at Britta. "How much did you end up spending on that costume? I see you're still trying to convince the world that not every girl uses dressing up to make herself look sexy. It's working."

"I don't have a problem with girls dressing risqué," Pierce blurted. "Why limit it to Halloween and get togethers like these?"

Britta was dressed as a horse. Basically, she was wrapped in a brown, felt material that shaped her roundly. It almost looked as if a horse had eaten her and she was fighting to get free. "I'm glad it's working."

"I think Jeff said that to make fun of you," Abed pointed out.

"Oh. Well -" Britta began. She quickly turned around. "Troy, stop playing with my tail."

"It's fun," Troy giggled.

"So what happened to you both being dragons? And why is Troy in a dress?" Jeff asked. Abed was a dragon, as was planned. He wore something that looked like he had draped a burlap sack over his body, cut out a hole for his head, and attached some items to it for dragon scales. Even Abed's face was painted like a dragon. Troy wore a pointed hat on his head, something that resembled a dress, boots, a white beard, and held a tall wooden staff in his hand.

"It's a robe," Troy corrected. "How many people do I have to tell?"

"I'm Smaug," Abed said. He saw confused looks appear on his friend's faces.

"Is that a mood?" Shirley asked. "Are kids using that to mean glum now?"

"He's a dragon from the Hobbit," Abed went into detail. When nobody got it even then, he felt a part of him die inside. "You guys are killing me." He shook his head, and pulled himself back together with a long sigh. "Troy is Gandolf the White." Abed took a look at the other costumes. "We all know Pierce is trying to be a wealthy jester."

"_Trying to be_?" Pierce asked, offended. "I'm doing a darn good job at it." He was dressed in a yellow full body suit with red polka dots on it. He also had a jester hat of the same color on his head.

"All I've got to say is that you better stop teasing Jeff," Abed said, making a face. "Who are you Shirley? A bad representation of Robin Hood?"

"Abed," she scolded. "I'm Joan of Arc."

"Ha!" Pierce laughed. "It's Noah of Ark, stupid."

"Noah wasn't in medieval times, dummy," Shirley retorted.

"That is a great choice, Shirley," Britta praised. "Joan of Arc was the first woman activist. Well, not officially, but implying so, she was. She's a true hero."

"Stop while you're not so far ahead," Jeff told her.

"Where to first?" Annie asked, rocking back and forth from heel to toe. "Anybody hungry?"

"Not really," Jeff said, watching as Fat Neil took a look at the food set up and walked away. "If Fat Neil doesn't want it, neither do I. Greendale food isn't good inside, I'm sure sitting outside, it's even worse. Probably mutated."

"You seriously think it's mutated?" Britta asked, her eyebrows up.

"You mean like mutated genes?" Abed asked. "This could lead into so many movie discussions. Where should we begin? Want to go the X-Men route or the 28 Days Later route?"

"Neither, Abed," Jeff replied, then seeing how he may have upset his friend, - he could never really tell - he apologized. "Maybe later."

"Pew pew," Abed said, winking at Jeff.

"Mutated jeans?" Troy asked, astounded. "You think they put jeans in the food? Butts touch them. I kind of want to try the food. I've never eaten anything with jeans before."

"No, Troy," Britta said. "Genes as in g-e-n-e-s."

"You spell jeans weird," he told her.

"What are we doing?" Pierce asked.

"Welcome, everyone, to our medieval feast!" the dean's voice came over the loud speaker. "A complementary show is about to start on stage." There was a pause. "The pallets by the flag," he clarified.

"I guess that's our answer," Shirley said, unenthused.

The group made their way to the pallets - the stage - laid on the ground.

Just as they expected, Dean Pelton was standing in the center of the stage. In the crowd next to them stood Professor Duncan and Señor Chang. Duncan was dressed as a simple peasant while Chang looked like a twentieth century doctor.

"Chang?" Jeff asked. "What are you supposed to be?"

Ben Chang slowly turned to Jeff. There was a scar painted on his cheek and he wore a pair of prescription glasses with the lenses popped out.

"Please tell me you didn't pay for those glasses and make them completely useless," Jeff pleaded.

"Of course not," Chang replied. "I'm not stupid. I took them from some old lady when she wasn't looking. She took them off to put her eye drops in."

"No matter how heartless that is, that doesn't answer my question."

"What am I, yeah, yeah. I've been over this a million times with _everybody_. All I heard from _medieval_ was _med_ and _evil_. So I dressed up as an evil scientist."

"Why would we dress up as evil scientists?" Jeff thought for a moment and shrugged. "This is Greendale," he thought out loud.

"Can it," Chang pointed a finger at him. "If you say another word, I'll fail you."

"You're not even our teacher anymore."

"That's professor to you."

"No, it isn't."

"It isn't. You're right." Chang leaned his face menacingly toward Jeff and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his finger. "You just watch it."

"Oh, bugger off," Duncan told Chang as he was already leaving. "What an idiot," he laughed.

"Chang is _so_ weird," Troy said.

"I can't believe he stole glasses from a poor old lady," Annie pouted.

"Poor?" Duncan asked. "_I'm_ poor! I'm a _peasant_. Get it?" he joked.

"It's not funny when you're poor in real life." Britta folded her arms as best she could while having them encumbered by thick felt and looked at the ground.

"I couldn't tell you," Pierce spoke.

"Now, to begin this play," Pelton began, "I'll need my surprise guest to come join me up on stage." The dean quickly gave a nice look to Jeff.

"Kill me now," Jeff moaned. Hesitantly, Jeff made his way toward the pallets.

Dean Pelton offered a hand for Jeff to take.

"I will leave," Jeff warned.

Pelton pulled back his hand. "Watch your step."

"Your_ stage_ is literally an inch off the ground," Jeff pointed out as he took a stance beside the dean.

Dean Pelton smiled out at the crowd, while Jeff moped. "The summary of this story is that I, the Qu-dean. Oh, look at that - it already rhymes. I will be saved by my Knight in Shining Armor."

Flashes went off, making Jeff shield his eyes.

"Who seriously has nothing better to do than take pictures of a makeshift play at Greendale?" Jeff asked, looking out to the crowd when the flashes stopped. He spotted a camera crew in the back of the four row crowd. Jeff turned to the dean. "You hired professional photographers?"

"Jeffery, let me explain," the dean said, pulling Jeff back by the arm. "I just wanted to be able to remember this. It'll be fun."

"Take you're hand off me," Jeff demanded. "I'm done with this play."

Once Jeff rejoined the group, they made their way from the audience and Dean Pelton and apparently a hired camera crew.

"Remind me again why I'm here," Jeff requested.

"You wanted to skip class and stay home, but finding out that if you didn't show up, the dean would notice and you'd be caught, you decided to come here instead of going to class," Abed replied.

"It was rhetorical, but thanks, I guess."

Out of nowhere, Garrett came running up to the group. He looked as though he had just ran a mile from a ghost, so he looked like Garrett. "This isn't good!" he hollered to the group, though they were only feet away. "There's a war coming! A_ war_! Prizes and teams! It's coming! Gather weapons and build alliances! Hurry before it's too late!" Just then, a rubber arrow shot through the air and stuck to Garrett's forehead. Instinctively, he dropped to the ground, pretending to be dead.

Jeff kneeled down next to Garrett. "What's going on?"

Garrett looked glassy eyed at Jeff, but didn't speak.

"He can't talk, Jeff," Abed told him. "He's supposed to be dead. If he talks, it'll ruin the realness of the game."

Jeff looked over his shoulder at Abed. "What _game_?"

"Sounds to me like a mix of Paintball Assassin and Fort Wars," Abed assumed.

"I wonder what the rules are," Annie pondered.

"I heard 'prize.' I want to know more about that," Shirley said.

"Let's go Braveheart on the enemies!" Britta roared.

"I'm not sure anyone is going to be afraid of someone dressed as a horse," Jeff chuckled.

"Braveheart is a movie," Troy said. "It's not a person."

"Well, let's go main character in Braveheart on the enemy then," Britta fixed.

"William Wallace?" Abed asked.

"Sure," she replied.

"In the end William Wallace is tortured to death by being hanged and disembowelment," Abed told her.

"How about King Arthur?" Shirley suggested.

"Abed!" Troy exclaimed thinking up a plan. "Let's find Excalibur! Maybe we should bring Pierce with us."

"Because I'm wise?" Pierce smiled, intrigued.

"Smart idea, Troy," Abed agreed. "Old people are supposed to have wisdom flowing out of their butt."

"Hey!" Pierce yelled, angered.

"I doubt you'll find that sword here," Jeff hinted. "Let me dumb that down for you - you won't find it."

"That's why you won't be able to pull the sword out, Jeff," Troy told him. "You need to be wise, and a comment like that just makes you un-wise."

"You just made up a word," Jeff pointed out.

"Exactly," Troy smiled and pointed to his head.

"Haha," Abed said proudly.

Troy and Abed did their hand clap and the group got ready to fight, whoever it was they were fighting, and for whatever the prize was.


	3. Chapter 3

The so called battle had been going on for only fifteen minutes, which many would say felt like days. There was an honor code - there had to be. If a player got fake stabbed, they were dead - out of the game. Players carried axes, swords, bows and arrows, and staffs. Leonard had been seen going around beating people with a blow up club as he proudly wore his viking helmet and fur vest. As Garrett had said, there were two teams made. Students had to find out where they stood within moments after Garrett's fake death. No one truly knew who was the leader of each alliance, but after ten minutes, it hadn't mattered. Once the truth of the prize had been revealed, everyone turned on each other. There were only a few players that kept their loyalty to their friends: The Greendale Seven for instance, and Fat Neil with Vicki. Magnitude had a war cry that he would yell after each of his kills, "Pop! Pop!" Some jocks had gotten together to form an unbeatable squad, while others went lone wolf.

"What the _hell_ is this prize?" Jeff asked, brandishing his plastic sword. The study group was hiding under the bleachers, while cries could be heard from players "dying" on the quad. As the game went on, the area spread out to buildings all over campus.

"I don't know, Jeffery," Shirley said. "But if it's as good as people are making it seem, _I want it_."

"Must be a good prize," Abed added. "Even slackers are playing for it."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Britta joked, looking at Jeff.

"Did anyone hear the prize announced?" Annie asked, keeping her eyes on the battle past the bleachers.

Before anyone could answer, an archer jumped down from the top bleacher.

"Star Burns," Britta said, unwelcomely.

"You really think you're going to take us all on?" Jeff asked, pointing the tip of his sword toward Star Burns.

"Name is Alex!" he shouted as he wielded his bow and notched an arrow.

"Careful there," Abed told him. "Don't want things to get messy." Abed lifted a sword he had picked up off the ground while they were running for the bleachers.

Four other students jumped down from the top bleacher behind Star Burns.

"Not so fast," Star Burns told the study group. "I've brought friends."

"You have friends?" asked Pierce.

Star Burns aimed his arrow at Annie. "Surrender or she dies!"

Annie gasped and her lower lip quivered. Even though this was just a game, it felt so real, just as the paintball tournament and fort war had.

"You want us to surrender or else you're going to stick Annie with a rubber dart like you will if we do surrender?" Jeff depicted.

"I'll let this arrow go," Star Burns threatened.

Jeff sighed, giving into the game. "No, you won't." He stepped to the side, putting himself between Annie and the arrow.

"Charge!" someone yelled from not too far away.

"It's not 'charge,' you idiot!" Chang's voice scolded. "We say 'Chang!'"

Suddenly, Star Burn's had a worried look appear on his face, one that matched his _friends'_ expressions.

"That's the Army of Chang," one of the friends announced.

"Twenty minutes in and Chang has already established a known army?" Jeff asked.

"Whoa," Troy gaped. "That's a big army," he said, peeking around the side of the bleachers.

"I guess he's the antagonist?" Abed assumed. "He'll be the mark to beat." He turned to Troy. "We'd better find Excalibur, Troy. It's our only hope at defeating Chang and his army."

"Any weapon will work, really," Star Burns told him.

"To Excalibur!" Troy put a fist in the air.

"I wish I could really breathe fire," Abed mumbled.

Jeff shoved Star Burns while he was preoccupied with gazing at the large group of students led by Chang in an evil scientist costume. Star Burns fell into his comrades, allowing for the study group to escape. Everyone took off except Pierce, who didn't realize they were supposed to run until he was grabbed by one of Star Burns's so called friends. "What should we do with him?" the student asked.

"Get your hands off me," Pierce ordered. "I need to win the prize."

"We'll take him with us. His friends will try to rescue him. They're our biggest threat. Pierce, do you even know what the prize is?" Star Burns asked.

"No, but I want it. It's mine!" Pierce told him menacingly. "What is it?"

"Free access to Hulu for twenty years," Star Burns revealed. "That's movies and TV for life for you, old man."

"Are you kidding? I'm still in my prime." Pierce struggled with no hope. "I'll get that access to Hula. Sounds fun."

"It's Hulu. Instant streaming." He turned to see the group of students getting closer. "Let's scram," he said as they ran away, holding Pierce as their hostage.

The Army of Chang had torn through the quad, leaving living bodies of students everywhere. They kept running, spotting the study group trying to get away.

"The prize is Hulu membership for twenty years," Abed announced as the group of six continued to run from the riled up students.

"Abed, how do you know?" Britta asked.

"I have a sixth sense type thing going on, but I don't see dead people, I can just lock on to words that have to do with movies and television. It's a gift."

"Chang!" someone nearby shouted.

The study group, minus one, veered between two buildings and kept running. All of a sudden, they got cut off by some of Chang's army. This caused the group to accidentally split up. Troy and Abed ran to a left turn, while Shirley and Britta turned to the right and kept running, unaware that they had left the rest. Jeff pushed open a door that led into one of the buildings and pulled Annie inside. He shut the door and put his back against it, listening as the students ran by. He relaxed, letting out a breath.

"Hearing the prize," Jeff began, catching his breath, "you still want to play?"

"This is a great academic opportunity, Jeff," Annie replied. "I wouldn't have to buy any films I need to watch for school. I could also keep up with all the Zac Efron movies," she added, dreamy eyed.

"Might be a good idea to keep up with movies and TV in general," Jeff agreed. "Maybe I'll be able to understand Abed."

"You'd stay for Abed? That's really sweet," she smiled.

"And because who doesn't love free movies?"

"Good job watching your back." Annie rolled her eyes.

"What does that mean?"

"You won't let yourself admit that you care about us. Like when you pulled me inside before Chang's army could get me. Or when you stepped in front of me, so that Star Burns couldn't shoot me. You saved my life, Jeff."

"You do realize this is fake, right? You wouldn't have died."

"It was still really nice."

"Yeah, well, just so you know, I do care about you guys. I just don't want to get all mushy over it," Jeff admitted.

"So what do we do?" Annie asked, letting Jeff off the hook. She looked around, finding themselves in a classroom. "Should we search for the rest of our group?"

"We should take things slow for now. Let's just find a safe way out of here, and try not to . . . die," he gave in, looking back at her with a small smile.

"I'll have to find a weapon."

"You think you could handle it?"

"Yes. I'm not just a princess in this game that is going to be the damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armor to save her. Then they'd get married and live happily ever after." Annie actually did like the sound of that. But at the same time, she didn't want Jeff to see her as only someone he had to protect, someone who couldn't stand up for herself. She needed to prove that she could do some damage too.

"You sure? It started to sound towards the end like you might want it that way," Jeff said.

"Of course not, Jeff," Annie let out an unconvincing laugh. "Who'd be my knight in shining armor? You? Pffft." She tried to play it off cool, but wasn't sure how much it was working.

"Come on," Jeff told her, gently pulling at her arm. He led toward the door that led out into the hallway. Jeff held his sword tightly as he slowly opened the door. Peeking his head out, the hallway was empty. Or so it seemed.

From up above, a ceiling tile was being pulled away. Out of it came a student that aimed a rubbed arrow notched in his bow at Jeff. Just before the arrow released, Annie pushed Jeff out of the way. "Watch out!" she warned. The arrow stuck to the floor. Jeff stepped forward and jabbed his sword upward, poking it against the student's chest. The student groaned and dropped his arrows and bow as he jumped down from the ceiling and went on his way, his head hanging down.

"Guess you really aren't a damsel in distress," Jeff smiled longingly.

"Guess not," Annie smiled back as she picked up the bow and arrows.

"Annie," Jeff spoke, breaking his smile.

"Yeah, Jeff?" Annie asked, waiting impatiently for his next words. She always had an attraction to Jeff. She had grown feelings for him after all the time they had spent together. After they had kissed that night at Greendale when she thought she was going to leave for Delaware with Vaughn, her feelings for him tripled, and ever since then, she would wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship with Jeff. She did have her doubts, but she couldn't seem to not want to try.

"Chang's soldiers," Jeff said at last. He saw a few of them coming their way down the hallway. "Stand back, Annie," he said, stepping forward, holding his plastic sword at the ready.

"I've got this," Annie replied, moving to the side for a clear shot. She notched a rubber arrow and let it go toward a student wearing fake chainmail armor. It stuck him where his heart was. He dropped a plastic axe and turned around to go home. Annie released another arrow, getting another student out.

The last three in the hallway charged. They attacked Jeff with two swords and a dagger. Jeff was able to easily stab the one with the dagger, leaving it down to four fighters in the hallway. Jeff's plastic sword collided with the two student's fake swords. They were caught in an standstill until Annie picked up the dagger from the floor and touched one of the student's backs with the tip.

"Really?" he asked, throwing his sword across the hall. "From the back?" He put his hands on his head and walked away aggravated.

"I'll get this one, Annie," Jeff said, swinging his sword around, flinging the student's sword against a wall. Jeff touched the side of his weapon to the student's neck. "You've been beheaded."

The student rolled his eyes and walked away.

Annie jumped up and down. "We did it!" She threw her arms around Jeff, and suddenly let go, hiding her face so he could see her flushed.

"That's only a few students," Leonard's voice came from down the hall.

"You're still in this, Leonard?" Jeff asked.

"Surprised?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Ahhh!" Leonard came running down the hallway toward Jeff and Annie, focusing mainly on Jeff. He brought his blow up club up in the air with both hands. Halfway to Jeff, Leonard stopped to catch his breath, his hands on his knees.

"Don't you have a YouTube video to upload or something?" Jeff asked, feeling bad for the guy.

"It's going viral," Leonard said, between breaths.

"I'm sure it is," Jeff replied sarcastically.

Leonard stood up. "I'm okay," he said. "Ahhhh!" He ran toward Jeff again, bringing his club back like a baseball bat. He swung at Jeff, but Jeff ducked and tapped Leonard's side with the plastic blade.

"Darn it!" Leonard threw his hands down and dropped the blow up club. He stomped on it, making it pop.

"Did you take your pills today?" Jeff asked, surprised by his outburst.

"I don't take pills! I don't need them." Leonard brought a fist up and punch Jeff in his face.

Jeff brought his free hand to his nose and could feel blood. "Leonard, what the hell?"

"Don't be a pansy," Leonard laughed.

"Is this game really that important to you?" Annie wondered.

"You bet it was!" Leonard replied. "I watch movies for fun. That is, when I'm not making my videos." Leonard turned around. "See ya, suckers."

Annie took her eyes from Leonard and checked on Jeff. "You're bleeding," she noticed.

"For an old man, he's got a nice punch." Jeff wiped some blood from his nose, but more kept coming.

"You need to have that looked at."

"I'll be fine."

"Jeff, I'm serious."

"I'm not going to forfeit the game because of a bloody nose," Jeff told her.

"Then let me look at it."

"That's how it started with Britta in the second semester paintball tournament."

"Ew, Jeff. I just want to help you."

"Fine, Annie," he gave in. "Where to?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Abed, which way?" Troy asked, following directly behind his best friend.

"You tell me, Gandalf," Abed replied. They had almost completed a circle going around the campus, during which, Abed had lost his sword.

"Should we go back to the quad?"

"If that's what you think. You're Gandalf the White. You should know."

"Cool," Troy smiled wide. "Will Excalibur be there?"

"Could be. There were too many people on the quad beforehand to know for certain if we missed it."

"You think we missed it?"

"Possibly."

Off in the distance, someone screamed. Shortly after, "Pop pop," could be heard.

"Magnitude," Troy whispered.

Duncan hopped in front of Abed and stuck him with a plastic knife. "Gotcha!" the British professor laughed.

Abed opened his mouth, letting air out as he moved his head back and forth.

"What's that?" Duncan asked, stepping away from Abed's breath.

"Fire. You're dead."

"I just killed you."

"I'm Smaug. Smaug has impenetrable scales, even on his stomach. You merely broke your knife," Abed replied. "I just breathed fire on you. You're dead."

"This is bloody rubbish!" Duncan declared, throwing his toy knife to the ground by his feet.

Abed shrugged. "Blame J. R. R. Tolkien."

"Good job, Abed," Troy exclaimed. "I was worried there for a moment." Just as soon as he ended his sentence, Troy felt the point of something at the center of his back.

"Pop pop," Magnitude said from behind him. He was dressed as an elvish warrior with a short sword.

"Troy," Abed breathed.

"Abed," Troy cried.

Abed moved to the right to get a view of Magnitude's weapon. It looked just like he always imagined an elvish sword. "Cool sword. Can I see it?"

"Uh, sure," Magnitude said, handing over the sword.

Abed turned it around, jabbing Magnitude with it. "Got ya," he said happily. "Sorry it had to go that way, but Hulu is very important to me. Nice sword though," he said, giving the sword back to Magnitude.

Magnitude sighed, taking the sword and walked away.

"I'll find Excalibur, Troy," Abed promised.

"I know you will, Abed." Troy sighed. "I should have been Gandalf the Grey. That way, I could have come back to life as Gandalf the White."

"We all make mistakes, Troy." Abed patted Troy on the shoulder. "Get ready for a Lethal Weapon marathon."

"Great! Can we reenact it again?" Troy asked excited as ever.

"Do you even have to ask, Murtaugh?"

"Go get 'em, kid. I'm getting too old for this shit."

Abed gave a light smile. "Cool. Cool, cool, cool."

"Are you sure Star Burns has Pierce?" Britta asked, walking quietly around a building.

Shirley nodded. "I saw them take him when Chang's army was attacking." Shirley held onto the sword that came with her Joan of Arc costume.

Neither of them had been spotted yet. It was a good thing too. It was hard enough for Britta to run in her giant horse costume. If they got caught, she would barely be able to defend herself. Since the costume was so big, she couldn't move her legs very fast or her arms. Britta could hardly look to her sides. She managed to hold onto a knife that Shirley had given her, but truthfully, it was only for looks. If anyone attacked her, she couldn't defend herself with it.

"Let me go, Sun Burn!" Pierce yelled.

Shirley and Britta both came to a quick halt.

"Isn't that kidnapping?" Britta said.

"Are we going to free him?" Shirley asked.

"It's my duty to help him. Star Burns is taking away his right to freedom."

"Whatever you say, anarchist," Shirley mumbled. "How are we going to free him? We'll have to battle against four people, and then Star Burns. You won't be any help dressed up like that."

"I could be some help," Britta pouted. "But Shirley, you're the greatest woman warrior. You can do this."

"I am?" Shirley smiled.

"Well, who you're dressed as was."

"Mmm. I'll take it, I guess," she said, her enthusiasm drained a little.

"What should I do?"

"Be the distraction," Shirley suggested. Get them to come out here. They've got to be inside the building. That's where Pierce's voice came from. Once they come out, I'll be able to fight them off easier.

Britta sighed. "Sure." She went in front of some of the windows and started galloping back and forth. "Nay! Nay!" she said as Shirley just shook her head.

"Hey! That's Britta. Get her!" Star Burns ordered from inside the building.

Three students came running out of the building. Shirley snuck up behind one and stabbed him. The other two turned to face her - one had an axe, the other held a long sword.

"God, be with me," Shirley said, rushing at them. Her sword was pointed straight ahead. One student backed up, scared of Shirley's war face. This allowed Shirley to stab her sword forward further and catch the fearful one in the stomach. She turned to the student with the long sword. He swiped down, but Shirley blocked the blow. He swung under her feet to which she jumped up and brought her sword on the back of his neck. She squealed happily.

Walking into the building, Shirley only saw Star Burns. "Where's your other ghoul?" she asked.

"I could ask you the same question," Star Burns replied. "Except making it plural."

"We got separated," she said honestly.

They were in a classroom with Pierce sitting at a desk and Star Burns standing beside him with a fake sword in his hand.

"You came back for me," Pierce exclaimed.

"You came back to watch him die," Star Burns said. "I'll get to you afterwards."

Just then, the window burst and the missing student flew into the classroom with Britta coming through just after her. She stood up energetically with glass shards in her costume. "I got her!" Britta announced proudly about the student groaning as she got up from the floor and walked out the door disappointed.

Star Burns turned to Britta as Shirley dashed forward sticking him in the back.

"No!" Star Burns yelled. "I was going to watch Breaking Bad with that Hulu pass! I need to get some tips on . . ." he stopped talking and ran out of the classroom.

"Britta, we did it!" Shirley exclaimed, jumping up and down clapping.

Britta made a face. "Star Burns got me just before you got him."

"No, Brit-ta."

"Sorry, Shirley. Good luck."

Shirley watched as Britta left the room. She frowned.

"I have something that will turn that frown upside down," Pierce said, standing up from his seat.

"I don't want to know," Shirley told him.

"Thank you for saving me," Pierce smiled.

"You're welcome, Pierce."

Piece moved in to hug her. He put his arms around her. Shirley pushed him off and stuck him with her sword.

"Hey!" he yelled.

"I'm not spending this whole game with you harassing me." Shirley shook her head. "I won't be able to last a minute more being stuck with only you."

"Guess I deserve that." Pierce shrugged. "But fine! You won't have the company of a noble jester."

"What a pity," she replied sarcastically.


	5. Chapter 5

Jeff and Annie were holed up in the nurse's office. They hadn't seen anyone since Leonard which made them believe that it was getting toward the end of the game. Annie had Jeff sitting on a metal table while she searched the cabinets for anything to help with his bleeding nose.

"You sure all these pills in here won't make you relapse?" Jeff asked.

"Of course not," Annie replied. "I've been clean for a long while now."

"Good. I wouldn't want a druggie for my doctor, no matter how pretty she is." Jeff pressed his lips shut, but it was too late. He already let it slip out.

Annie quickly turned to face him. "Did you just call me pretty?"

Jeff was at a loss for words. "I, um, yes. All dressed up like that, you're stunning. I won't lie. I think you're beautiful."

Annie looked to the floor, feeling butterflies in her stomach. She looked back up at him. "What does that say about me when I'm not dressed up?"

"Annie, you always look pretty." Jeff was taken aback for a moment. "You set me up, didn't you?"

Annie giggled. "Thank you, Jeff. You look nice too." She pulled some paper towels from the roll on the counter and walked over to Jeff.

"Have you done this before?"

"Mended a bloody nose? Plenty of times," she replied. "A symptom from one of my medications in high school was a bloody nose."

"You must be an expert at it then," he laughed.

Annie pressed the paper towel against his nose harshly.

"Ow! Sorry," Jeff apologized. "I'll try not to make fun of your addiction anymore."

"We both know that's not going to happen." She lightly dabbed the blood coming from his nose with the paper towels.

"You're probably right." Jeff tried to get a glance at his nose. "How is it?"

"It's almost done bleeding. That's a good sign."

"I would think so," he agreed. "I wonder where everyone is. Pierce is probably dead by now."

"Jeff! Don't say that."

"It's a game, Annie. He's not actually dead."

"But he's _old_. You never know when he's going to go. Don't joke about that."

"Okay. I'm sorry. But let me just say, I'm glad I got stuck with you."

"You are?"

"What knight doesn't want to be with the princess? Although, I think _I'm_ supposed to save _you_. Since you're not a damsel in distress, we won't be able to work that one out. You've been saving me more than I you."

Annie giggled. "Maybe you should be the one wearing this then." She took off her silver crown with her free hand and placed it on Jeff's head.

"Please take that off of me."

Annie burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Besides the princess crown on your head? I was just imagining the dean walking in."

Jeff allowed for a chuckle. "He'd probably love it."

"Or if Pierce walked in."

"_Gay_," Jeff mimicked in his impression of Pierce.

Annie giggled again, moving a strand of hair behind her ear.

Jeff took off her crown from his head and placed it beside him with his sword.

She wiped the remaining blood away. "There! All better," she said chipperly.

Before she could pull her hand away too far from his nose, Jeff grabbed her wrist. The bloody paper towel floated to the floor. Jeff's eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips and back. Annie gazed down at his parting lips. She opened hers ever so slightly as she leaned in slowly. Jeff titled his head just enough for the perfect fit. Their eyes closed in unison and their lips pressed together in passion. Annie and Jeff's fingers intertwined. Jeff brought up his other hand and slid it to her cheek. Annie took her free hand and put it at his neck. They pulled back for air, their lips falling from each other's.

"Milady," Jeff said, implying a question to try again.

"Milord," Annie replied.

Jeff moved his hand from her cheek. He grabbed her waist, pulling her closer. Annie guided her hand from the side of Jeff's neck to the back of his neck, playing with tiny pieces of hair where his hairline stopped mid-neck. Their lips collided. Parting their lips, they moved with the kiss. Jeff pulled back and held up a hand.

"What's wrong?" Annie asked.

"I'm not going to let happen with Britta and me happen between the two of us."

"No, Jeff, I know. I wouldn't allow that." Annie let her hand drop from behind his neck. "You know, you don't always have to compare me to Britta."

"I know that. I do it because . . . I feel like there's a connection between her and me, but there's also one between you and me. I really like you, Annie, but are we right for each other? Britta and I are the type that would end up together. Now, I'm not saving that would happen. But I don't deserve you. I don't deserve someone as good as you. You don't deserve me. You deserve a guy better than me. We aren't right for each other, Annie. I'm not your Prince Charming."

"You're not," Annie agreed, holding onto his hand. "But today, I'm your princess. You're my knight in shining armor."

"This is a game, Annie. It's not real life."

"We can pretend." Annie brought her finger up to Jeff's lips, so he would be quiet. "Pretend I'm Sleeping Beauty." She brought her hand back down to her side and closed her eyes as she pursed her lips.

Jeff shook his head and smiled. He leaned in, kissing her romantically. He slowly pulled away. "Now wake up, Annie," he said sweetly, with a deeper meaning behind the words. She couldn't go through life believing she would end up with Jeff. There was no telling what would happen.

As Annie started to give a pouty face, Jeff spoke, "We'd better go." It was starting to feel awkward, and he didn't want the awkwardness to last. He picked up Annie's tiara and placed it atop her head. "There you go, Milady," he smiled.

Annie gave a small sigh, but smiled back. "Thank you, Milord." She curtsied, and then grabbed Jeff's sword by the hilt, sliding it off the table. Jeff's eyes widened. Annie was taken aback as she carried the sword. "You don't think I'd turn on you like that, do you, Jeff?"

Jeff shrugged. "Britta did."

"We're not all the same." She handed Jeff his plastic sword.

Jeff hopped off the table and opened the door that led into the hallway. Just before stepping out, the dean ran into Jeff's arms. Jeff pushed him away, back into the hall.

"Jeffery!" he exclaimed. "I'm so happy to see you're alive."

"Can't say the same for you," Jeff mumbled, but then went back to his normal volume of speaking, "Does anyone _not_ take this game seriously? Nobody is dying!"

"I think we should team up," the dean suggested. "I'm playing this time. There's a television series only available on Hulu about a certain breed of dogs that I'm dying to watch. I don't have any extra money to buy the seasons myself."

"Too busy buying your outfits?" Jeff said under his breath.

"What do you say, Jeffery? Are we teaming up?"

"There's only room enough for two right now," Jeff replied.

Pelton looked at Annie. "You heard him. Scram." He shoed her away.

"Uh!" Annie exclaimed.

"Sorry, dean. I meant you," Jeff cleared up. "It's only Annie and me right now."

Annie tried hiding a smile.

"I'm disappointed in you," Pelton said.

"That doesn't bother me." Jeff pondered. "What would happen if I killed you?"

"Well, I'd imagine the police would come and -"

"_Fake_ killed you."

"Oh," the dean chuckled. "I'd go into my office to hide until the game ended. It's gone a bit overboard too."

"Oh good." Jeff stabbed the dean at his chest, and then lowered his sword.

"Jeffery! How could you?" Dean Pelton cried as he held to his chest and sunk to the floor.

"Let's go Annie," Jeff took her hand. "We have a war to win."

Abed ran toward the quad, gazing out past the mess that had been created by the Human Beings. It looked like it had been deserted. Abed was reminded of an apocalyptic movie, noticing there was no evidence of anyone other than him being alive, but surely there were others because the game was still going on.

Coming out of some bushes, Fat Neil jumped in front of Abed, carrying an axe. He held it powerfully.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but this isn't like Dungeons and Dragons," Abed told him. "It's not down to the roll of a die. It's about how you wield your weapon."

"I don't see you with a weapon," Fat Neil replied, looking Abed over.

"I don't need one. I have fire and impenetrable scales." Abed took a breath, and blew it out at Fat Neil.

Fat Neil ducked, and as soon as he was out of breath, he stood up and swung at Abed's head. Abed squeezed his fists together, shutting his eyes tight. Then he heard a war cry, and he opened his eyes as Shirley's sword blocked Fat Neil's blow. She rotated her sword with Fat Neil's, causing his sword to spin out of his hands and fly into the air. Shirley reached up and caught his sword. She crossed the swords at his neck. "You're dead, Neil," she told him.

Just after he was on his way from the battle, Vicki popped out and stabbed Shirley in her back several times with two plastic daggers.

"This is stupid!" Shirley threw her swords to the ground and stomped off. "TV is one of the only things that calms my kids down."

Vicki turned to see Abed standing defenseless. She threw one dagger at him, to which he ducked, rolling toward the two swords Shirley had dropped. He grabbed them in mid roll and once on his back, he pierced the swords up, sticking Vicki in the stomach.

A crackling sound came over the loud speakers. "I am Chang. This war is over. I have won." A bunch of evil laughter followed, and the loud speakers shut off.

Abed got up and ran toward the quad with both swords slicing through air as he dashed. There wasn't much time. There were only a few players left in the game. Things had gotten quiet. He needed Excalibur to win. That was the only thing that could save him.

There it was. A stone, though it looked plastic, with a sword stuck in it. Only the hilt and part of the blade were visible.

Abed approached the sword. He took a deep breath before touching it.

"Abed?" the dean's voice came. "What are you doing?"

Abed turned, pointing the tip of each sword at Dean Pelton. "Are you still in the game?"

"No. I thought it was over," Pelton replied, backing away from the swords. "I heard Chang say it was over. He's the victor."

Abed lowered the swords. "You do realize he's crazy, right?"

The dean bobbed his head back and forth, thinking over previous circumstances. "We all have our flaws."

"The game isn't over, dean." Abed tossed the swords to the side. He turned, getting ready to pull Excalibur from its longtime shelter.

"That's only a prop, Abed."

Abed grabbed the hilt. "This is my victory."

"Trust me. I've tried prying it out. It's glued or something."

Abed, with ease, lifted the sword out of the plastic rock and held it above his head with a smile bigger than he'd ever smiled before.

"How did that work?" Dean Pelton asked, eying the wooden sword.

"Excalibur can only be taken from the stone by someone with wisdom."

"Should have given me a try." Chang stepped into the quad, two yards away from Abed and Pelton. He held his sword on display. The metal shined in the sunlight.

"Chang has a real sword?" Pelton asked, terrified. "Where's Jeffery? He needs to protect me."

"I haven't used it on anyone!" Chang rolled his eyes. "It's just a scare tactic. Obviously it won't work on Abed."

"Where did you even find that?" the dean asked.

"Time to win this thing," Chang said, ignoring the question.

The dean ran off scared just before Chang stuck the sharpest part of the blade into the dirt. He pulled back his evil scientist jacket and revealed a thick plastic sword. "I found this sword," Chang said. "It will not break. Even your wooden sword won't harm it."

"Let's see," Abed said, taking his stance for the attack.


	6. Chapter 6

Jeff and Annie made their way out of the building.

"Where is everyone?" Annie asked.

"I don't know. The last person we saw was the dean." Jeff looked around. No one was outside. "What if we're the last ones?"

Annie's eyebrows went up. "What would that mean?"

"It would mean it's between the two of us."

"I won't kill you, Jeff."

"Well, I'm not going to be _that_ guy and kill you."

Annie jumped with an idea. "I know what to do! We find poison berries and threaten to eat them at the same time! That way, they'll have to stop us and we both win."

"Annie, as stupid as that is, we're not doing it."

"That didn't even make sense."

"Like your plan?"

Annie folded her arms.

"No one is watching us. We would really die. And as much as I don't doubt there are poison berries on this campus, I'm not going to look for anything that will potentially kill us."

"Jeff, look." Annie pointed to Abed and Chang at a standoff in the quad. "We need to help him."

"Come on," Jeff led the way at a sprint with Annie not too far behind.

Just before Abed lunged at Chang, Jeff and Annie made it to him.

"We're hear to rescue you," Annie told him, knowing he'd love that line.

"If we all kill Chang, we'll have to resort to killing each other," Abed said. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty adamant about this prize. I won't be the character to step back from this."

"We can get to that later," Jeff said. "Right now, we kill Chang."

"Bring it on, suckas!" Chang yelled. He whipped his sword back and forth in the air, making sound effects to go with it.

Jeff ran at Chang with his sword high in the air. He brought it down as Chang swung his up. The swords collided so hard that Jeff's tore from his hands. Chang twirled around swinging for Jeff's neck. Jeff ducked just in time. The sword swished over his head. Chang pointed his sword at Jeff and ran toward him. Just before the tip could touch Jeff, Annie rushed between him and the point. Chang slowed down and simply tapped the point to Annie's collar. "You're dead," he said in monotone.

Annie dramatically held where the sword had touched and fell to her knees.

"Annie!" Jeff yelled, tilting his head up to the sky, and pulling his arms back.

Chang shook his head and tapped Jeff's neck with his sword.

"Damn it," Jeff said, noticing his stupidity.

Just before Chang could see it coming, Abed jumped over Jeff and Annie, and hit Chang's legs with Excalibur. Chang fell to the ground, releasing his sword and clutching to his shin. "Ow! That's wood, idiot."

Abed stood over Chang with Excalibur hovering over his chest. "I declare you terminated." Abed pressed the sword against Chang's chest. Chang pushed it away. "Okay, you got me. I'm dead. Geez. No need to leave bruises."

"I think it's too late," Abed said. "Sorry."

"I was being sarcastic," Chang replied with an eye roll.

"Ah. I'm working on that."

The study group gathered around the table the day after the Medieval feast. Outside of study room F, custodians were cleaning in whatever means to take streamers down, clean up the mess made by some broken furniture and glass, and gathering a bunch of toy weapons and pieces of costumes that had been left.

"What are you going to do with your Hulu pass, Abed?" Shirley asked with a big smile on her face.

Abed cocked his head. "I'm not sure I understand the question. Hulu being a way to watch movies and TV, that's exactly what I'll do."

"Hey, Abed!" Jeff said with a false smile. "Since you have my Netflix password, how about you give me your Hulu password."

"No can do, Jeff."

"Oh come on, A-bed," Pierce jumped in. "Hand it over."

"Pierce, you don't even watch TV," Troy said. "In your free time, you look over an old dirty joke book."

"Why is it dirty?" Annie asked.

"Oh, sweet, innocent Annie," Jeff said, cupping his hand in hers. "It's a sexual book. He's not talking about dirt."

Annie pulled her hand away, feeling awkward with Jeff holding onto hers after he cleared the confusion up.

"You know what my weapon should have been for the battle yesterday?" Pierce smirked playfully.

"Don't want to hear it." Britta held up a hand to keep him from giving the punch line.

Pierce must have thought she was trying to high five him for the joke because he worked his stomach onto the table and pushed himself across, holding out his hand to touch hers, but Britta took it away before he could. Pierce shoved himself back and found his seat.

"You wouldn't lend your password to your friends, Abed?" Shirley pouted.

Abed shook his head. "I can't risk the places held for my recommendations according to what I watch to be filled with mindless cartoons, political rants, next in fashion shows, garbage, or shows that don't make any sense. Also, I don't want the ratings of certain listings to go up or down on what you guys prefer."

"Can I have your password?" Troy whispered as if no one could hear.

"Sorry, Troy," Abed replied at normal volume. "You can watch with me though. All of you are free to. I'd like to introduce you to some worth watching footage."

"Dean dong," Pelton said, walking into the study room in his normal attire - more exact - a dress shirt, tie, and slacks. "That was a doorbell." He gave a short chuckle.

"We noticed," Jeff said, unamused.

The dean stood there looking around the table, smiling.

"Do you have something to say or are you just here to bother us some more?" Jeff asked.

"Oh, Jeffery." Dean Pelton touched his shoulder, to which Jeff shoed away his hand. "I just wanted to congratulate Abed on his victory." The dean gave a few silent claps.

"You did that already," Abed replied.

"I did?" Pelton asked, hands on his hips, falsely surprised.

"Yeah, when you gave me the Hulu password."

"Must've slipped my mind," Pelton said, face palming himself. "How are all of you today?"

"We _were_ doing fine," Jeff sighed.

"Aw, did I make your day better?"

"No," Jeff said under his breath.

"Jeff, do you mean fine as in F-I-N-E or . . ." Abed began.

". . . F-Y-N-E. There's a difference," Troy finished.

"Is there? Other than one being spelled wrong?" Jeff asked, hoping he didn't receive an answer.

"Well, I'll just leave you sentence-finishers to it." The dean waved. "Glad I could make your day G-O-O-D." After flashing a cheesy smile, he left.

"Anyone keeping track of how many times that guy comes in?" Jeff pointed behind him with his thumb.

"I thought you did, Jeff," Annie said, peeking on his side of the table, just beneath the table top. "You mark on the table a lot. I figured you were scratching in whenever Dean Pelton came in."

"I just notch as many times as someone mentions my abs . . . which is _a lot_. Sadly, it happens mostly when he's here."

Annie looked over to the opposite corner. "Abed? Troy?"

Abed raised his hand. "I mark 'classic wingers.'" He nodded, proud of himself.

"I just make notches," Troy replied cooly.

"Oh."

"I know - or at least to my knowledge - none of you have kids, but I need to get home to mine." Shirley stood up, grabbing her purse.

Pierce got up on his feet. "Yeah, I better get to studying some more jokes for you guys next week."

"Can't wait," Britta said, unimpressed as she stood. "There's rioting going on in the middle east. I need to keep tabs on it."

"What, so you can catch the first flight over if the need you?" Jeff laughed.

She shot her attention to him. "If they need me, yes! I will do my humanly part and take a stand for rights of all people. I have a duty to my fellow people."

"Can I come?" Troy asked, sitting up in his chair, excited. "I've always wanted to go to the middle east."

"Middle realm," Abed whispered.

"Oh. Never mind. Count me out."

"Let's watch some more Lethal Weapon." Abed left the room, followed by Troy - that last one to leave other than Jeff and Annie.

"I'm sure you need to leave too," Jeff said, looking to his side at Annie. "Have a project due in three weeks that you need to get done or something?"

"I wouldn't procrastinate that much," Annie replied, getting an overwhelmed look from Jeff. "What about you? Do you have a hot date tonight?"

"N -" he started, but caught himself. "Yes, actually. I do. Or at least I hope so."

"What, she hasn't answered yet?"

"I haven't even asked."

"That's a whole level of procrastination I hope to never reach."

"Milady?" Jeff stood grabbing his binder and offering his free hand to Annie.

"What about your hot date?"

Jeff raised an eyebrow and gave a small smile.

Annie hesitantly took his hand and stood. "Milord."

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried.

"You were right, Jeff. Not that you don't deserve me, but we just don't know how things are going to go. We don't want to get into a relationship and then have it ruin the group."

"I'm only asking you on a date, Annie. I'm not asking you to marry me."

Annie tried not to blush. "I know," she said lowering her hand and her gaze. She regained eye contact. "Let's just put it on hold for now, okay? I do need to wake up, like you said."

"Annie, I didn't mean -"

"It's okay, Jeff," she told him, giving a sweet smile.

Jeff nodded, feeling down. "Just let me know if you need to be woken up again, alright?" he forced himself to tease her. He didn't want her to know she hurt him. He had probably hurt her yesterday.

Annie giggled. She fell into him, wrapping her arms around him. "Jeff, you're great."

Jeff enfolded her in his arms. "So are you, Annie," he said, rubbing her back with a hand.

"I'll see you soon, knight." She fell away from the embrace.

"And as will I . . . you," he tried sounding medieval. "Princess," he added. And he watched her pick up her weighted backpack and walk out of the study room. She looked back to give him a smile, and he waved, smiling back. But once she turned and went on her way, his smile faded. There she went. And each time, he hoped she would return. Even if nothing did spark between them, - which he felt sometimes happened and other times didn't for him personally - she would always be a part of him and have a part of him just like each of the members of the Greendale Seven did. That's because they were a family however their relationships were with each other. The thing that was constant was that they were a family and always would be.

_**THE END**_


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